We are all busy. We have jobs, significant others, kids, family, time commitments, responsibilities, etc. It is easy to get caught up in our "to do lists," and simply let stress and our obligations consume our lives. Then, one day you wake up and wonder how you got here. How did you become this controlling, stressed out, overly obligated, cranky person? It's pretty simple....you forgot about yourself.
You forgot to put yourself on your own "to do list." Sometimes to the point that you no longer know what you would want to do if there was an extra hour in the day. You may not even know what your interests are now, because your interests have been neglected for so long. At some point you decided that your needs weren't as important as everyone else's needs. If you hadn't decided that, then you would not be able to relate to this post. I'm here to tell you, that it is time to put yourself back on the list!
Communicate your needs and feelings. Tell those closest to you what you need. If you need a Saturday afternoon to yourself, while your mom or husband takes the kids, express that. Most people aren't mind readers, and the people who love you want to give you what you need.
Schedule your "me time" like you would an appointment. Block off the time, and mark it on your calendar. Look at it as if it is as important as a doctor's visit, because it is that important!
Plan your time. What would you enjoy doing with your extra time? Get a massage? Take a ceramics class? Meet an old friend for lunch? Go for a hike in a beautiful setting? Having an hour to drink a cup of tea, and read a book? Planning your time is just as important as scheduling it!
You are the person you need to spend time with! I'm not saying to never take your scheduled time to do an activity with a friend, but I don't think every "me" appointment should be spent with someone else. I have noticed that so many people are uncomfortable to be alone with themsevles. They wouldn't go to lunch alone, the movies, take a class or a long walk alone. I think that's a problem. We need to be alone with our thoughts. We need to reflect on our lives....where we are in the moment, and what path we want our life to take. Many of us need to reflect on our relationships as well, and not just our relationships with our significant other. All of our relationships. Kids, boss, family, and friends. How can we better meet their needs? Are we neglecting some of them? Are some of them toxic? Should some of those relationships end? Not every appointment needs to end in an epiphany about your life, but asking yourself questions, and really pondering where you are, would do a lot of us a lot of good.
Don't feel guilty about needing and making time for yourself. Women seem to do two things that I don't see men doing.....feeling guilty about making time for themselves, and feeling the need to be busy all the time, because they think they are supposed to be. We have a lot to do, that's true, but stop over committing yourself, and learn to say "NO"! Stop glorifying being busy. Stop wearing it as a badge of honor. It isn't a competition to see who can lose their mind, by being everything to everyone all the time! It isn't a race to see who can neglect and lose themselves the most! Taking time for yourself will renew and refresh you. It will give you a new perspective. It will awaken you to new experiences. It will make you a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend. It will enrich your life, and those around you. So stop neglecting yourself, and make your weekly "me time" appointment today!
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