Friday, October 18, 2013

Why Take Care Of Yourself?

Your a busy wife, and mother.  Every day you have a long list to try to accomplish.  You run from task to task, taking care of your family.  You have a stable marriage.  You aren't dating or in the bar scene.  Your husband's love goes beyond the exterior.  Your kids just want a mom who is nurturing and dependable.  So, why is it so important to take care of yourself at this stage of your life?  You have bigger priorities, right?

Ask yourself this, and be do you feel about yourself?  How do you feel doing physical activities?  Do you avoid them all together?  How do you feel when you see yourself naked?  How do you feel when you go shopping for new clothes, or do you avoid that all together, because you figure what's the point?  How do you feel undressing in front of your husband?  Do you put yourself down in front of your kids?  These may be things that you don't discuss with your best friend, but you need to at least have the discussion with yourself.  If you are feeling unhappy and insecure about any of these things, it's time to change!

Years ago, when you thought about your future, what did you see?  Have you lived up to that vision?  Circumstances and choices, may change our path in life, but how did you see yourself?  Are you the person you envisioned?  Life takes it's toll, and what was once our future is now our present.  Before you know it, you can morph into this woman that you no longer recognize.  Women are typically unselfish, and with that comes neglecting ourselves, in order to fulfill others needs.  But don't you think that being less of what we are, takes away from our loved ones?  I know what it is like to live a life that I never envisioned, and become the person I never thought I would be.  I felt horrible...inside and out.  I can tell you for sure, that my family wasn't getting the best of me, because I wasn't at my best.  I was tired, beat down, ashamed, depressed, and lonely in many ways.  I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten, until I was out from under it.  It is amazing what we can get used to.

When I was in the midsts of going through hard times, my husband would make me get out of the house for some me time.  I really didn't want to go.  I felt guilty for leaving them on a day that we could all be together.  I was exhausted and just wanted to nap.  I didn't have any family or friends living near by to do anything with.  He would say "you have to get out of here for awhile.  Now go, or I'm gonna kick you out, if I have to!"  I usually didn't do much of anything.....went to a bookstore, the mall, or whatever, but it helped.  After a few hours, I came home refreshed.  I had more energy, and less stress.  I was better equipped to handle my colicky baby or the behavior problems he had until he was 3.  I was more engaging with my husband, and had the energy to pay attention to him.  I'm thankful that he recognized what I needed, and gave it to me.  It was then that I understood the importance of taking care of myself.  It was a process.  I worked very hard for weight loss.  I worked very hard to get back to the point of caring for myself, like I once had.  I realized that when I felt better about myself, people could see that.  They reacted more positively towards me.  They could recognize my contentment and feelings of self worth.  I wanted to be that person for my family, and myself.  I wanted to be the wife, that my husband could be proud of.  I wanted to be the mom, that my son could look up to and say "one day I'm going to have a wife as special as my mommy."  I knew they deserved that from me.  If you happen to have a daughter, what a role model you are to her!  You are her first impression of what a woman should be, and what she will likely become in the future.  Give her a great example to admire and become.

If you feel in any way the way that I did, it's time for a change.  It's time to take the time to make yourself a priority.  It's time to feel confident when you walk in a room.  It's time to take yourself off the back burner.  It won't happen overnight.  That's just not realistic.  It's a process, a journey.  You'll have set backs, everyone does.  But if you want to have the life you deserve, you'll brush yourself off, and get right back to it.

So, where do you start?  After having a heart to heart with yourself, make an appointment.  You wouldn't let your kids miss a doctor's appointment, so don't let yourself either.  Make an appointment several times a week for health and fitness.  Schedule it.  If it means, you have to get up an hour earlier, then that's what it means.  If it means, you take turns on driving the kids for after school activities with another mother, then that's what it means.  If it means your husband has to do some things around the house, or help out with the kids....well, it's his house and they are his kids just as much as they are yours!  Tell your family how you feel, and what you need.  They aren't mind readers.

At first, it will be an adjustment.  You may get some resistance...or a lot.  Stick to your guns, and before you know it, it will just be a routine that everyone is accustom to.  Once you start achieving your goals, slowly but surely, so many things will fall into place.  You will recognize yourself saying and doing things that you haven't done in years.  You will start becoming the woman you had always envisioned, and the woman your family deserves.

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